THE CLINTONS AGAIN: BETTER THAN POKING YOURSELF IN THE EYE WITH A SHARP STICK … BUT NOT BY MUCH

The Clintons are coming again. Like a couple of huge Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons.

They’ve been around forever. They’re totally familiar, clever opportunists … ambitious, greedy, unprincipled, and lacking a quarter ounce of political courage.

They’re also inevitable.

They’ve accumulated $100 million without either one of them having other than a government job for 30 years. They don’t pay for anything and, if all goes well November 8, they’ll become Billionaires.

Maybe then, one of them will pick up a check for something, anything, somewhere, sometime.

Like Gertrude Stein said about Oakland CA … “There’s no there there.” At least Oakland has former Jesuit Seminarian and two-time Mayor (and four-time CA Governor) Jerry Brown, Champagne Tony Lema, and Hell’s Angels Shot Caller Sonny Barger. The Clintons have ambition and the certainty that no matter how big a mess they make, they’re smart enough to talk their way out of it, and the sheeple will be with them to the end.

So far, they’ve been right.

The Clintons are the Nixon of our times … except Nixon was interesting, courageous, and a visionary in addition to being paranoid and the other things that drove him from office. The Clintons are just ambitious, ordinary, and boring.

I’m not looking forward to Election Night at all. Bill and Hillary with their rhythmic clapping. Pointing at special friends in the crowd. ($1,000,000 contributors get pointed at, $5,000,000 contributors get pointed at plus a wave and both palms pressed against the chest. That means a couple of nights in the Lincoln Bedroom and an invitation to join the Board of the Clinton Global Initiative for another couple of million … and then there’s the Hillary Library, she’s got you down for five mil there and, by the way, Chelsea needs a lift to Singapore in March, I’m sure your 727 will work fine … it never ends.)

I’m sure there’s a price for lifetime entitlement to a point, a wave, and palms to the chest … transferable of course to heirs and assigns.

Bill Clinton learned a long time ago that there’s money in sincerity. Don’t you just love the way he sets his jaw and bites his lower lip. That’s the empathy look. He feels your pain.

Hillary has always been a quick study. She didn’t get to go to Wellesley and Yale Law being stupid. She was Midwestern, conservative to the core. Then she met Bill.

Bill said he’d be President, but they had to be Democrats and go to Arkansas. No problem. A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do. Sort of like the preacher applying for a job in a small country church in Arkansas. The Elders doing the hiring ask him what he thinks about Evolution. His response, “I can preach it either way”. The guy must have been a Clinton or a Rodham.

So, when FOX calls the race for Hillary Election Night, I’d love to do what Elvis Presley used to do when a TV set gave him news he didn’t like. Take out the 12 gauge and shoot the set. No, I’ll have to settle for seeing if I can find “Goodfellas” on any of the old movie channels or maybe watch some Carson reruns. There’s no way I’m going to sit through the rhythmic clapping pointing waving crap.

Does all this mean I’m for Trump?

No, I’m with her. Lucky Hillary. She got to run against the only guy in the country she could beat, and she’s going to beat him.

Addendum

Here’s what Hillary should have said when FBI Director Comey notified Congress that the investigation into her emails was being reopened:

  • I’m aware of FBI Director’s communication to the Congress regarding my handling of emails during my tenure as Secretary of State. I will continue to cooperate with the FBI as they work to conclude their investigation.
  • I have the utmost confidence in the FBI and its leadership.
  • I am well aware I caused this mess and for that I apologize to the American people. My friend and colleague, Huma Abedin has been by my side for twenty years. Anything that she has said or done in this area has been at my direction and on my behalf.
  • While my desire for privacy overcame my judgment, I am convinced that I have done nothing criminal.
  • My staff and I will have nothing more to say on this matter until after the election.

 

I will post again on Wednesday, November 16, 2016 or before if the news flow dictates.

Comments are welcome at tomc[at]wednesdayswars[dot]com. Comments will be addressed in subsequent posts.